August 25 – A Covenant of Love

Sunday School Lesson

August 25

Lesson 13 (KJV)

A Covenant of Love

 

Devotional Reading: Hebrews 12:7–13

Background Scripture: Ephesians 5:21–6:4

 

Ephesians 5:21–33

21. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

 

22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

 

23. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

 

24. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

 

25. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

 

26. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

 

27. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

 

28. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

 

29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

 

30. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

 

31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

 

32. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

 

33. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

 

Key Verse

[Submit] yourselves one to another in the fear of God.—Ephesians 5:21

 

Lesson Aims

After participating in this lesson, each learner will be able to:

 

1. List ways that being a Christian affects one’s role as husband or wife.

 

2. Explain why the “everyone to everyone” theory of Ephesians 5:21 is false.

 

3. Explain why Christian marriages are unique and commit to honoring that uniqueness.

 

 

HOW TO SAY IT

Corinthians	Ko-rin-thee-unz (th as in thin).
Ephesians	Ee-fee-zhunz.
Ephesus	Ef-uh-sus.
Epistles	Ee-pis-uls.
Leviticus	Leh-vit-ih-kus.
Philippians	Fih-lip-ee-unz.
tabernacle	tah-burr-nah-kul.

Introduction

1. Not Like the Movies

Year after year, star-studded romantic comedies are released by Hollywood for public consumption. People meet, at first hate each other, then share experiences, grow as human beings, and fall blissfully in love. Usually, though not as often as once was the case, the couple’s adventure ends in their marriage.

This, the entertainment industry tells us, is what marriage is. Two people are “meant for each other” in their mutual fulfillment. Their romance makes everything right. Their marriage serves as nothing except the exclamation point on their romantic experience of self-fulfillment.

Of course, most married people, and probably most unmarried people, will say that this view of marriage is nonsense. Yet the focus on romantic self-fulfillment still powerfully shapes people’s understanding of marriage.

In New Testament times, marriage was as much misunderstood as it is today, though the misunderstanding then was not like ours now. Today’s text has much corrective for both.

 

1. Lesson Context

Our text comes from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. This is known as one of Paul’s four Prison Epistles, written while he was in the custody of the Roman military. (The other three epistles designated as such are Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon.) Ephesians was written to Christians in the city of Ephesus, a large, grand city on the west coast of Asia Minor. Paul chose Ephesus as a base for evangelistic efforts in that area. He spent nearly three years in the city (Acts 20:17–21, 31).

The letter itself falls into two parts: a discussion of the nature of the gospel (chapters 1–3) and a discussion of how to live in light of the gospel (chapters 4–6). The second section makes clear that the Christian life is an outgrowth of the Christian faith. It begins with an exhortation to “walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called” (Ephesians 4:1). That is, the recipients were to live according to the gospel message by which God made them members of His people. The story of Jesus—the one who gave His life for the sake of those alienated from Him, the one who now reigns in the heavenly places—‌determines the life of the Christian. To walk in a manner worthy of the Christian calling is to live as did Jesus, imitating Him by living to bless others, not oneself (5:1, 2).

Our text falls in the middle of this practical discussion, as Paul sets forth what many refer to as a “household code.” He discusses each of the common roles in a household—the family and any servants who worked in it—of his time. Throughout the discussion, Paul speaks within the relationships that people commonly knew in that period. But he does something far different from merely affirming the common social order: he infuses every household role with the story of Jesus.

1. Transition

(Ephesians 5:21)

21. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

 

This statement concludes a discussion of Christians’ shared life in which they (we) instruct and encourage one another as empowered by the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:17–5:20). Thus Paul introduces the household code (see the Lesson Context) seamlessly from the discussion he has just concluded.

Paul uses the word translated submitting a total of 23 times in his letters. It occurs in contexts of relationships with God (Romans 8:7), with the higher powers of earthly authorities (Romans 13:1, 5; Titus 2:9; 3:1), with spiritual leaders (1 Corinthians 16:15, 16), of Christian wives with husbands (1 Corinthians 14:34; Ephesians 5:24 [below]; Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:5), and others.

The phrase one to another establishes the context. One theory is that this phrase (which is a single word in the Greek text) means “everyone to everyone.” But this theory is overturned when we consider how Paul and other Bible writers actually use this word, which occurs right at 100 times in the New Testament. Those uses reveal that the best understanding is “some to others” (examples: Luke 12:1; John 13:14; 1 Corinthians 11:33; Galatians 6:2; and James 5:16).

Submission to others runs counter to our most stubborn impulses. We naturally want to act for our own benefit, which we assume is in conflict with others’ benefit. Paul says, however, that it is the realization of God’s existence that compels us to submit. Such realization results in fear, which is better understood as holy reverence and awe for God rather than terror.

 

What Do You Think? What steps will you take to make Ephesians 5:21 more of a reality in your life?   Digging Deeper What changes will others see as you do so?

1. Wives and the Lord

(Ephesians 5:22–24)

1. What to Do (v. 22)
2. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

 

The expectation for wives to submit themselves to their husbands is not unusual in Paul’s time. People from all corners of the ancient world would say the same. What is distinct is that Paul adds as unto the Lord. A Christian wife submits not because it is the cultural custom or expectation, but because she also submits to the Lord Jesus. So her relationship with her husband is to be likened, in some sense, to her relationship with the Lord.

Outside of a Christian perspective, a wife might see submission to a husband as something she does so that she will get in exchange what she needs in the marriage. No, Paul says, this relationship is not based on exchange. Rather, the wife’s focus on her husband is that of a disciple who is focused on serving the Lord.

We must be on the alert lest the concept of submission be wrongly taken to imply inferiority. All humans are equal before God, and all men and women have equal access to the salvation offered through Christ (Galatians 3:26–29). But such equality does not negate the fact that God has ordained gender roles. Those roles are based in the order of creation (1 Timothy 2:12–14), not cultural practices.

 

What Do You Think? What are some godly ways for a wife to demonstrate submission to her husband?   Digging Deeper How do we distinguish between godly and ungodly ways?

1. Why Do It (vv. 23, 24)

23a. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.

 

The wife’s submission to her husband is to transcend social convention and reflect the relationship of the church to Christ. The church’s submission to Christ is complete and unqualified. Earlier in Ephesians, Paul compared the church with a body and Christ with the head of the body (Ephesians 1:22; 4:15). Paul follows a common metaphor that uses this picture of the head and body to illustrate authority.

If I Could Turn Back Time

When my husband and I were starting out, he decided to open a trading account and invest in some small companies. He poured over the stock-market section in the newspaper and selected a handful. I thought it was a waste of time, and I never hesitated to tell him.

A financial dispute soon erupted that threatened our marriage. I insisted that he close the account and sell the stock. I felt justified due to the financial jeopardy in which he had placed our family. In reality, I had squashed him just when he was learning how to support us. Worse, I took away every opportunity for him to learn the love of Christ through my submission to him.

Paul explains that the husband is the head of his family, steering it in a way that is analogous to the way Christ directs the church. Are you making the same mistake I did?

—P. L. M.

23b. And he is the saviour of the body.

 

Again, the point is not to reinforce the cultural norm of submissive wives. Paul reminds us that for Christ and the church, the head of the body is also the saviour of the body. Though we often think of the word savior strictly as a religious term, in Paul’s time it is most common as a political term. Great kings and generals are called savior because of the brave, noble deeds they do to benefit their people.

Christ, of course, is the Savior who displaces all others. But He does so by sacrificially giving His life, unlike all others. We understand from this statement that Paul’s picture is of a gospel-shaped relationship between a man and a woman who are both faithful disciples of Jesus. In this way, the wife submits to a husband who imitates Christ’s self-giving humility for her benefit. He has authority because He is Savior, not tyrant.

This observation reminds us that Paul is not addressing dysfunctional relationships. Wives of abusive or neglectful husbands are not called to endure their abuse and demonstrate submission to it. Only with the repentance and commitment of both partners, including their commitment to forgive each other, can Paul’s description of marriage exist.

 

24. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

 

Paul repeats his point to make clear that he is describing distinctly Christian marriage, not conventional marriage grounded in cultural expectations. The grateful, lavish service that the church renders to Christ will be the pattern by which the Christian wife submits to the Christian husband.

So as people look at Christian marriages, they should see transformed relationships. Such marriages are based not on social conventions or even mutual benefits. Rather, they are founded on Christ’s sacrificial love for the church and the church’s response of service. People will see in such marriages a metaphor of the gospel.

III. Husbands and Christ

(Ephesians 5:25–32)

1. Pattern to Repeat (v. 25)
2. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.

 

Now the instructions turn to husbands, as the comparison with Christ and the church continues. For husbands, who have been granted primacy in marriage by order of creation (again, 1 Timothy 2:12–14), their wives’ submission to them must draw self-sacrificial love in return. That means seeking the wife’s good first, even at great cost to oneself. Christ’s sacrifice was complete: He gave His life. It was gracious: He died for unworthy sinners. It was generous: it brought blessing to others. This is Christ’s full expression of love, and it is the pattern by which the Christian husband loves his wife.

 

What Do You Think? What are some godly ways many husbands can demonstrate loving self-sacrifice in their marriages?   Digging Deeper How do we distinguish between godly and ungodly ways?

1. Results to Anticipate (vv. 26, 27)
2. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.

 

Paul continues to use Christ’s love for the church as a pattern for the husband’s love for his wife. In so doing, he focuses on what Christ accomplished by His love. That love prompted the Lord to give himself in death to make forgiveness possible. The church is made clean (justified) by the loving self-sacrifice of Christ, purged of the stain of sin by Christ’s loving surrender in which the innocent one took the penalty of the guilty. This cleansing has made the church a distinct people: we have been and are being set apart (sanctified) to belong to God, by Christ’s act. As a bride is set apart in marriage to belong to her husband, so the church is set apart for Christ (Revelation 21:2).

This comparison sets the agenda for the Christian husband. His love for his wife is to aim for the same outcome as Christ’s love for the church, that the wife should fully express her purpose and identity as God’s person. The husband loves the wife not for his own gratification but to contribute to her growth and maturity as a person of God. The husband’s love expresses the good news of Jesus, both in its self-sacrificial nature and its deeply God-focused aim. This makes the Christian marriage distinct from marriage as practiced in any time or culture.

 

27. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

 

Christ’s loving sacrifice makes the church a reflection of Christ’s glory—His true, praiseworthy nature that is revealed in His death and resurrection. Like a bride beautifully adorned for a wedding, the church is adorned with the glory of Christ, made His by Christ’s gift of grace and mercy. Christ’s cleansing of the church and making it whole, can be compared with an animal without imperfection that is offered in sacrifice in the tabernacle (Leviticus 22:21; Numbers 19:2).

The perfection of Christ’s own sacrifice becomes the hallmark of the church’s identity and life. The church is remade in Christ’s image to belong fully to Him, to be holy or set apart to belong to God by forgiveness and transformed lives (see 1 Peter 1:18, 19).

This again becomes the focus of the husband’s love for the wife. His is not to focus on himself and his own needs. Rather, his focus is to be on his wife’s fulfilling Christ’s aim that she become fully His in faith, forgiveness, and life. He wants her not to be adorned to enhance his own prestige but with Christlikeness (1 Peter 3:3, 4). Both husband and wife thereby become living sacrifices (Romans 12:1).

1. Fact to Accept (vv. 28–32)
2. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

 

Paul develops another comparison. The church is Christ’s own body, as Paul has said before (Ephesians 1:22, 23; 4:15; 5:23). Christ’s identification with His people is part of what Paul learned on the road to Damascus. Jesus asked Paul, a persecutor of the church, “why persecutest thou me?” (Acts 9:4). When Paul (as Saul) persecuted the church, it was as if he were persecuting the Lord personally, because the Lord is so closely identified with the people for whom He gave His life and in whom His Spirit lives. Husbands are to view their wives in the same way. As Jesus repeated the command in calling for His followers to love their neighbors as themselves (Leviticus 19:18; Matthew 22:39), husbands have a particular call to love their wives as they love themselves. Even more than in other relationships, spouses are identified with each other, belonging to each other as to no other person (1 Corinthians 7:4).

 

What Do You Think? In what ways can your church improve its premarital counseling program in light of today’s lesson?   Digging Deeper Consider the benefits and drawbacks of such a program being mandatory.

29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.

 

Paul appeals to common sense: people naturally take care of themselves. That is conventional. What is unconventional is the Christian’s sense of self. Christ’s identification with His church expands our understanding of ourselves. As Christ sees the church as His body, a spouse is to see self in their marriage partner. The focus, then, is not on one’s own needs but the needs of the other who is truly one’s own self (Philippians 2:1–4). This is exactly how Christ has regarded the church in His humble self-sacrifice on her behalf (2:5–11).

 

30. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

 

Christians are called to identify “self” in others, to treat others with the same love with which they naturally treat themselves, because of common identity in Christ’s body. All parts of the body live to serve the other parts (1 Corinthians 12:12–26). The unity between Christ and His people is so powerful that it transforms our most basic understanding of ourselves.

 

31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Paul now quotes from Genesis 2:24, the explanation that follows the account of the creation of woman from man. There God shows the man that he has no partner who corresponds to him, who is like him (2:18–20). So God creates the woman from the man’s own flesh, effectively dividing the human nature into two kinds, male and female (2:21, 22). The man then reinforces his identity with the woman as he exclaims that the woman is his own bones and flesh (2:23).

This creation account explains God’s design in marriage. The man and woman form a coequal partnership as two bearers of God’s image (Genesis 1:26, 27). Each is fundamentally different from the other, yet corresponding to one another. Their union brings together the two expressions of the image of God, male and female, that God created at the beginning. No other union features this combination of mutual self-identity and difference. No other except one, that is. See the next verse.

 

32. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

 

Husband and wife stand as divinely designed entities. They are the same in terms of being created in the image of God, but obviously different as male and female. Together they form a corresponding union, a partnership equal in worth while differing in roles. Although we are not God, His Holy Spirit indwells us (Acts 2:38, 39). The image of God with which we are stamped has been and is being restored.

But the roles of Christ and the church are distinct. The partnership between the Lord and His people is that of the Lord’s sending and empowering combined with the church’s being sent and being empowered (Matthew 28:19, 20) as we are commissioned to do His work. As we do, we complete the mission that Christ inaugurated when He became like us in our humanity, suffered death in our place, and overcame death in His resurrection (Colossians 1:24–26). Paul calls this a mystery as he uses that term elsewhere (Ephesians 1:9; 3:3, 4, 9; 6:19). What God had intended from the beginning is now revealed through Christ.

The exclusive covenant bond of partnership between husband and wife points to the greater bond between the Lord and His people. What an extraordinary, solemn, challenging assertion the apostle gives us!

 

What Do You Think? What steps can Christians take to increase the level of love and respect evident in their marriages?   Digging Deeper Research these references to biblical characters as you form your conclusions: Genesis 12:10–20; 16:5; 20:1–13; 1 Samuel 19:11–17; 2 Samuel 6:16–23; Job 2:9, 10; Acts 5:1–10; Acts 18.

1. Summary

(Ephesians 5:33)

33. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

 

This is Paul’s summary to husbands and wives in Christian marriages. Such marriages are to demonstrate the love of Christ, in contrast with the lesser loves that humans have created for themselves. Christian marriages are to be worthy of the calling by which Jesus’ followers are called.

Perfect Union

A friend called to share with me an amazing story of how God was working in her life. As soon as I hung up, I cried out to the Lord. I was overwhelmed with my son’s troubles at school, my daughter’s rebellion at home, and my own exhausting work schedule. In that moment, I sensed God telling me I needed to quit my job.

I had two options: I could demand that my husband accept my decision, or I could come to him with respect. In choosing the latter course of action, I told him respectfully what I sensed I needed to do. His response was one of complete support and assurance that it was the right decision. That moment was a turning point in our marriage as well as in our relationship with Christ.

When husbands love and wives respect, they become a mirror image of God’s plan for the church.

—P. L. M.

 

Conclusion

1. A Beacon of Light

This pattern set forth by Paul in today’s lesson challenged the ways people viewed marriage in his day. For people of pagan background, marriage placed the wife under the husband’s control for the benefit of the husband. The idea that marriage was for something other than the benefit of the husband was foreign. Yet to walk in a manner worthy of the good news of Jesus demanded that the pagan concept be replaced.

Romance is terrific. The Bible celebrates it (see the Song of Solomon). But romantic love is not the foundational stuff of a Christlike marriage. The Christian couple abandons cultural expectations of marriage and replaces them with Christ’s expectations. That will mean not the seeking of fulfillment of self but the losing of self.

 

1. Prayer

Lord, teach us to love as You love, with grace, forgiveness, and persistence. We pray this in the name of the one who died in our place. Amen.

 

1. Thought to Remember

Love without self-sacrifice—isn’t.

 

 

KID’S CORNER

The Character of the True Church

August 25, 2019

Ephesians 5:21-33 & 6:1-4

 

 

Ephesians 5:21-33 & 6:1-4

(Ephesians 5:21) and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

Paul wrote about the importance of Christians serving Jesus Christ and one another, because they loved and wanted to honor Jesus Christ by the way they lived. Loving Christ and wanting to glorify Christ can be the best motive for humbling ourselves in service to others, instead of trying to decide if others are worthy of our serving them. Paul carefully insisted that the example of Jesus Christ should serve as the standard for how we love and treat one another, especially in the Church and family. When Jesus Christ becomes the standard for how we treat others, and when we treat others as we would if Jesus Christ were with us and we were serving Him, we will not abuse or tempt others to do wrong.

(Ephesians 5:22) Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Paul told men, women, and children to live as obedient subjects of Jesus Christ, because Jesus Christ ruled over them as their loving Lord and Savior. When wives live subject to the Lord Jesus, they will obey the Lord Jesus, and the Lord Jesus will only tell them to do what is best for others and themselves. Paul did not command or expect wives to be subject to or obey their husbands when their husbands wanted them to do something contrary to the will of Jesus Christ according to the Scriptures. Once again, Jesus Christ serves as our example. Though Jesus Christ was God, as the Son of God, Jesus remained subject to His heavenly Father. Wives (and all men and women) should live subject to the will of Jesus Christ (especially if they are Christians!). When husbands and wives are both subject to doing the will of God and, therefore, living in obedience to Jesus Christ, it should be easier for wives to be subject to their Christian husbands. When husbands and wives are subject to one another out of reverence for Christ, both should find happiness in serving and meeting the needs of each other.

(Ephesians 5:23) For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.

Jesus Christ saved the Church; therefore, all who trust in Jesus Christ bow before Him as their Lord and Savior. The Church is the body of Christ on Earth. Christ is the head or the director of His body, the Church. He requires what is best for everyone in His Church, and His teachings in the Bible serve as the standard for every Christian’s life. In a similar way, the husband should treat his wife as Christ treats His Church by trying to do what is best for her (the Bible calls the Church the Bride of Christ see Revelation 19:7, 21:2, 21:9, 22:17). The wife should be subject to her husband in the Lord, which means the wife is not required to obey her husband in disobedience to Jesus Christ, who is the Lord of both husband and wife; indeed, the Lord of the universe. The wife does not need to do what she knows is against the will of God, Jesus Christ, and the Scriptures. In a Christian family, disagreements can become points for discussion and prayer, not rebelliousness. Under the lordship of Jesus Christ, decisions can be reached that will meet the true needs of everyone in a family.

(Ephesians 5:24) But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Paul gave guidance on how to have a loving, harmonious, peaceful, and successful Christian marriage. A wise Christian husband will not ask his wife to do anything contrary to the will of Christ. When a Church subjects herself to the will of Christ according to the Bible, she will behave as she should. When the Christian husband subjects himself to Jesus Christ according to the Bible, he will behave as he should, as Jesus Christ would have him act. To maintain order in a family and avoid continuous disagreeable arguments, a Christian wife needs to be subject to the final decisions (when all discussion is over) of her Christian husband, unless his decisions are contrary to the Bible’s teachings. If they disagree, they need to go to the Lord in prayer for Him to reveal His will to them; if they still disagree, the wife should subject herself to the will of her husband, who should be trying to do what is best for his wife and family. The Christian husband should not be a tyrant or a dictator but give his wife and family good and sufficient reasons for his final decisions.

(Ephesians 5:25) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

Paul set a high standard for husbands by telling them to follow the example of Jesus Christ. Wives will be happier and find it easier to live subject to the decisions of their husbands when their husbands love them in ways that are apparent to them and consistent with the way Christ loves His Church. Husbands need to give themselves to their wives to serve them, just as Christ gave himself to save and serve us, His Church.

(Ephesians 5:26) so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

Christ gave himself to us, His Church, in order to improve our lives, in order to give us eternal life, prepare us for heaven, and train us to reign in His coming kingdom. Likewise, husbands should give themselves to their wives in order to improve their lives and their family. When a Christian wife understands that the decisions of her Christian husband are his best efforts to do what is best for them, it is easier for them to be subject to their husbands. Obeying the word of Christ will cleanse a Church and make a Church holy. Obeying the word of Christ will renew and bring happiness to a family.

(Ephesians 5:27) that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

Jesus loved and served the Church to make the Church beautiful and perfect in His presence, morally and spiritually beautiful and perfect. Someday, those who trust in Jesus Christ for salvation will receive perfectly glorified human bodies and minds that will honor Him. Likewise, Christian husbands need to do all they can in their decision-making regarding their families so everyone may be motivated to come to faith in Christ and live as Jesus Christ intends—holy and without blemish. A Christian husband should never ask his wife or children to do anything that would be unholy or bring a moral or spiritual blemish upon their lives.

(Ephesians 5:28) So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;

Christian husbands will love their own bodies and not do anything to their bodies and minds that may bring them physical, mental, moral, or spiritual harm. Likewise, Christian husbands will love their wives and not do or say anything to them that will bring them into or lead them into physical, mental, moral, or spiritual harm.

(Ephesians 5:29) for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,

Those who walk in darkness hate their bodies and themselves. Because they walk in darkness, they do what they think will give them pleasure or meet their self-centered needs, though these actions will destroy them and hurt others. Those who walk in the light will nourish and care for themselves and others (their husbands, wives, children, families) as Christ cares for the Church, His Body on Earth.

(Ephesians 5:30) because we are members of His body.

Jesus Christ treats us the way He does because as Christians we are members of His Body, the Church. What He does for and to each Christian individually is for their best interests and the best interests of others inside and outside the Church. What Christ does for and to the whole Church is what is best for each part of His body as well as the whole Body. What Christ requires of Christians is best for each part of the Christian’s body, as well as what is best for all those a Christian loves and serves.

(Ephesians 5:31) FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.

When a man and woman unite in a Christian marriage, they become one body; they are joined together at every level of their being so whatever helps or hurts the other influences the other. Whatever helps or hurts the wife, helps or hurts the husband and whatever helps or hurts the husband helps or hurts the wife. The two become one body, and as Christians they become members of the Body of Christ, with Christ serving as the head of them both.

(Ephesians 5:32) This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.

Paul used a true Christian marriage to illustrate the relationship Jesus Christ has with His Church. We do not understand all the facts related to a Christian marriage and Christ and His Church—Paul called this relationship a great mystery. Whatever anyone does or says in the Church influences each person in the Church, including Jesus Christ, the Head of the Church. Whatever a husband and wife does influences a Christian marriage and their family, whether they know this truth or not.

(Ephesians 5:33) Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

In summary, Paul continued to use our Christian relationship with Jesus Christ to illustrate the Christian relationship between a husband and the wife. Jesus Christ loves His Father and His Church, His Body. Likewise, a husband should love God and their wives as they love themselves by considering her needs as equal to or more important than his needs. One way a Christian wife can love her husband is by showing him respect, especially when they have discussions and make decisions. Husbands who love their wives as themselves should receive the respect of their wives.

(Ephesians 6:1) Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

As Paul continued his discussion of Christian marriage and the family, Paul told children to obey their parents “in the Lord;” that is, when their parents commanded them to do what is physically, mentally, morally, and spiritually right according to their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and the Bible, the Word of God. Paul did not command immoral or unlawful obedience of parents or anyone else. The Bible is the objective moral and spiritual standard for obeying anyone “in the Lord,” whether father, mother, employer, teacher, other official, or any person “in authority.” Understanding this, we need to remember that there can be consequences in this world when we obey God rather than a parent, some other person, a group, or a government in authority. Paul and the apostles were thrown in prison. Some Christians were eaten by lions. In today’s world, we might lose a job or our own lives.

(Ephesians 6:2) HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise),

Children are to honor their Christian parents. If nonbelieving parents are acting dishonorably, children are not to follow their example, for this would not be honoring to God in Christ. When children love their parents and try to serve them as Christian children following Jesus’ teachings and example, then they will receive the promise of a long life—certainly eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ. They may honor their parents by treating them as Christ would treat them, which might lead them to saving faith in Jesus Christ. They might serve them as they might serve Jesus Christ.

(Ephesians 6:3) SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.

Paul referred to the Bible, the Old Testament Scriptures (Exodus 20:12), as the inerrant and objective authority for this teaching about marriage and the family. Many Christians can testify to the truth of this Bible promise. The Spirit of Jesus Christ can enable all those who trust in Him to obey the moral law of God, to love God and their neighbor, to love and honor their parents “in the Lord.”

(Ephesians 6:4) Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Because a parent or child may mistakenly think that a child is to obey a parent no matter what the parent commands, Paul referred again to the fact that a father’s primary obligation is to bring up his children in “the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” A parent should never ask a child to do anything contrary to or inconsistent with the discipline and instruction of the Lord as revealed in the Bible as led by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will never contradict what the Bible teaches, but the Holy Spirit will help us interpret and do what the Bible teaches. All fathers need to study the Bible and pray for the Holy Spirit to help them interpret and apply the Bible’s teachings in ways that will help them bring the discipline and the instruction of the Bible to their children that Jesus Christ would want them to bring to their children.

 

The Character of the True Church

August 25, 2019

Ephesians 5:21-33 & 6:1-4

 

“Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21).

When Paul wrote about the Church and described how Church members ought to live, he insisted that Jesus Christ is, or at least ought to be, the Head of the Church. As the Savior and Head of the Church, Jesus Christ directs and gives life to the Church, which is the Body of Christ on earth. Without a head, a human body soon becomes lifeless and begins to decay. When a congregation or leaders and members of a church begin to disregard or disobey Jesus Christ as the Head of the Church, their church soon becomes lifeless and begins to decay, and too often that church does not recognize what others see and smell. For this reason, some church historians have distinguished between the “visible church,” the buildings and the people that bear the label “Christian,” from the “invisible Church” (that they often spell with a capital “C”), where Jesus Christ remains the Savior and the Head of gathered Christians. Jesus Christ “nourishes and tenderly cares” for the Church just as Christians nourish and care for their bodies (Ephesians 5:29). Out of reverence for Christ, members of the Church love and obey Jesus Christ and His commands. Each member in the Church loves the other members as they love themselves; moreover, they love one another as Jesus Christ loves them and loves His Church. As Christians worship God and turn to Jesus Christ as their Lord, they obey the Bible, the Word of God written, which cleanses them from sin and makes them holy: in this way the Church “may be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:27). Therefore, in the Church, Christians love, respect, and seek to serve one another.

 

Thinking Further

The Character of the True Church

August 25, 2019

Ephesians 5:21-33 & 6:1-4

Name _________________________________

 

 

1. What does it mean to be subject to someone? What does it mean to be “subject to one another”? What reason does Paul give why Christians ought to be “subject to one another”?

 

 

2. Why do you think some people reject the Biblical role of wives that Paul described in Ephesians?

 

 

3. What does “be subject . . . as you are to the Lord” mean to you?

 

 

4. How do you think Jesus Christ being the Savior of the church effects how He relates to the church as “head of the church”?

 

 

5. How should husbands love their wives?

 

 

Questions for Discussion and Thinking Further

 

1. What does it mean to be subject to someone? What does it mean to be “subject to one another”? What reason does Paul give why Christians ought to be “subject to one another”? To be subject to someone is to be under their authority, direction, or influence. Employees are subject to work for their employers under their directions. Many successful businesses consider themselves subject to the needs or desires of their customers and employees. As Christians, to be “subject to one another” is to try to meet the real (and not the imaginary or wrong) needs of another person just as they, as a Christian, should try to meet the real needs of the other person. The Bible teaches that instead of always considering what we might gain when we are “subject to one another” (with each person helping the other) that we need to serve others out of reverence for Christ—focusing in His will for us and our desire to honor Him through our obedience to Him and service to others according to the Scriptures.

 

2. Why do you think some people reject the Biblical role of wives that Paul described in Ephesians? Some may think that as a wife they must have the freedom to live totally independent of the will of their husband. Some may think that the Bible means a wife should do whatever her husband commands, similar to a general in the army commanding a private to do something. Some wives may have been abused by demanding husbands, who do not treat them as Paul described in Ephesians 5:21 by being “subject to one another.”

 

3. What does “be subject . . . as you are to the Lord” mean to you? The Bible tells us to be subject to the Lord, because Jesus is our Lord as well as our Savior. We should do whatever we do “out of reverence for Christ.” Everything else we do in serving the needs of others or following the directions of others, including wives being subject to their husbands (and in another sense husbands being subject to their wives) is secondary to reverence for and obedience to Jesus Christ. A person does not need to serve or meet the needs of someone when that would mean disobeying Jesus Christ or being irreverent to Christ according to the Scriptures.

 

4. How do you think Jesus Christ being the Savior of the church effects how He relates to the church as “head of the church”? Because Jesus Christ loved and gave himself to save the Church, His body, and each member of His body, He will never direct the Church or anyone in the Church to do anything that would harm the Church or any member of the Church in the context of eternity. Jesus Christ is the example for us to follow when we have responsibilities for others. Jesus relates to the Church today in ways that will promote the best interests of the Church and each member of the Church He died for and lives to save. If a Church member dies a martyr’s death or suffers for preaching the gospel as Paul did, Jesus has good and loving reasons for everyone when anyone suffers. Jesus will never ask a Church to do anything or make any changes that are contrary to His commands or example in the Bible.

 

5. How should husbands love their wives? “As Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

 

Word Search

The Character of the True Church

August 25, 2019

Ephesians 5:21-33 & 6:1-4

Name _________________________________

 

K F O X D Y V Y S V E S T C R

I X A K L J Q D T Z D K G Q D

O P W O E D K O S U J E S U S

E Y H R C X R B V K Q Z X I C

D K W T N K M O N O B S O G X

Y U Y J E C Z G W R K X Q W P

W J O N R L Y N B L O R D S A

A V K T E P U I F L S I K X N

B W F U V Q M S S D E G V E C

H I Y N E A T N N U L M R A H

S V Z Q R S D A Q J B D I C S

L E F L I E B E Y G L J R S K

A S D R O S Z L X I T U E I H

D G H G U V G C H L H C M C K

T C X H I P E C I C K B W Z T

 

Reverence

Christ

Wives

Husbands

Lord

Church

Body

Savior

Subject

Love

Holy

Cleansing

Word

Blemish

Children

 

True or False Test

The Character of the True Church

August 25, 2019

Ephesians 5:21-33 & 6:1-4

Name _________________________________

 

Circle the true or false answers. Correct the false statements by restating them.

1. Out of reverence for Christ, a husband and wife ought to be subject to one another. True or False

 

2. A wife does not need to do as her husband asks if he wants her to do something immoral, illegal, or contrary to Jesus Christ and/or the Bible’s clear teachings. True or False

 

3. Husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. True or False

 

4. Husbands need to love their wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her. True or False

 

5. If a wife is subject to the Lord, she does not need to be subject to her husband. True or False

 

6. The Church should be subject to Christ in everything. True or False

 

7. Husbands and wives should love each other as they love themselves. True or False

 

8. Jesus Christ nourishes and tenderly cares for the Church, and He is our example. True or False

 

9. Christians are members of the Body of Christ. True or False

 

10. Today, when Christians marry, the husband and wife should not become one flesh but maintain their independence one from the other. True or False

 

True and False Test Answers

 

1. True
2. True
3. True
4. True
5. False
6. True
7. True
8. True
9. True

10.False